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September 11th
How to Talk to Your Children About Tragedy and Loss
In the aftermath of the events of September 11, 2001, children will sense the
overwhelming emotions felt by adults. Even if we are very careful not to discuss this national
tragedy in their presence, they are very intuitive, by nature, and they will know something is
"different". Therefore, it is imperative that we understand their needs and address their questions
and feelings. I would like to offer to you a few tips for talking to children about events such as
what we have just experienced.
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Be careful what you expose them to - Refrain from discussing tragic events,
listening to the radio, or watching news accounts of such destruction in their presence.
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Encourage them to talk to you - Make yourself available to them, giving of
yourself completely, setting aside time for discussion. Sit down with them and look at them,
eye-to-eye, giving them your full attention.
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Encourage them to talk to you - Make yourself available to them, giving of
yourself completely, setting aside time for discussion. Sit down with them and look at them,
eye-to-eye, giving them your full attention.
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Answer their questions - Using broad generalizations, answer only the
questions they ask. There is no need to go into long explanations. They will ask according to their own ability
to understand.
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Honor and embrace their feelings - Tell them you feel sad, angry, upset,
also and that it's okay to have those feelings.
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Choose words carefully - Refrain from calling people "bad" or "mean" people.
Rather, explain that sometimes people make "bad choices" or "do bad things". This will keep them from labeling
everyone (including themselves) as "bad" when they break a rule, disobey, etc.
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Encourage them to express their feelings - For children who are too young
to write, provide crayons/markers/paint, and paper for them to draw pictures of what they are feeling. Sing songs
with them (i.e. "God Is So Good", "What A Friend We Have In Jesus", "Jesus Loves Me"). These interactive activities
will help them learn to communicate their feelings and will engage multiple senses.
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Continue daily routine - As much as possible, go about your daily routine
in a calm and orderly fashion. This routine gives children a sense of security. They are able to predict the day's
events and it helps them feel safe.
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Assure them - Tell them by word, touch, and deed that you love them and you
will protect them. Assure them they are safe and you will take care of them.
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Pray with them - We all feel helpless and want to do something positive in
the midst of tragedy. Children have those same feelings of helplessness and desire to be a part of a solution.
It gives them hope to feel as though they are doing something productive. Nothing is more productive than prayer.
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If you should have any questions or concerns, please stop in my office or call me (407.841.6020). We are all here
to love, nurture, and protect our little ones. It is most important that we partner together to do just that.
Mary Massey, M.S.
Director
CPUMC Child Development Centre
Building A Foundation of Understanding For Your Children
As we all struggle with the events of the past week and how the aftermath is affecting our children, I urge you
to pour your energy into positive activities, discussions, and direction for your child. Concepts such as freedom,
liberty, terrorism, and war are impossible for young children to grasp. However, modeling behaviors that instill
pride and belief in God and country, will help you begin to build a firm foundation for your child's understanding
of PATRIOTISM, and will give them a positive and productive means of dealing with what happened last week and what
may lie ahead. Below are a few tips to help your family participate together in some productive activities that
will begin that building process:
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Point out American flags that are displayed
This will help your child become more aware of this symbol of patriotism and, if you count
all you see, it will help reinforce number and counting skills.
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Learn patriotic songs:
"This Land is Your Land"
"God Bless America"
"America" ("My Country 'Tis of Thee")
"You're a Grand Old Flag"
"America the Beautiful"
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Learning songs strengthens language and listening skills, as well as stimulates the cognitive
processing necessary to hear a musical pitch and reproduce it vocally. Additionally, learning
the lyrics will teach specific concepts and values. Most importantly, singing is fun and
everyone can do it! It's a great family activity any time, any place!
Dress in red, white, and blue
A fun way to reinforce colors and show your American pride
Pray for God's blessings on our country
Precious moments spent with your child, talking to God, will strengthen your relationship
(both with your child and with God) and will give your child the security and sense of
inner peace that comes with opening our hearts to Jesus.
Draw pictures of the American flag
This will help teach colors, sequencing, shapes, and counting, as well as stimulate fine
motor skill development and hand-eye coordination.
Plan and cook together a "Patriotic Meal"
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Whatever is your idea of the "All-American Meal", sit down and plan it with your child, make a
grocery list, go shopping for all the necessary items, and cook together. You may even wish to
throw in red, white, and blue food coloring and/or accessories to make it interesting! Following
a recipe together will help reinforce language and math skills. It will also give you quality time
with your child.
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